


It's My Life

by punk_assnerd



Series: Stories from me [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 13:24:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13571457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_assnerd/pseuds/punk_assnerd





	It's My Life

Remember in grade school where your teacher asks those stupid questions like "What do you say when you did something wrong?" And we would say "We say 'sorry' "  
Or something like "How do you fix something that's broken?" And we would all say, "Put it back together."

But now, after 18 years of existing in this crazy messed up world, I know that all of that is just plain bullshit.

My name's Seth and this is the story of how I broke something broken. This story, is about me.

\-----

What do you notice first when you wake up? Is it the way you curl in your sleep? Is it the alarm on your phone? Is it whether it's still dark outside or not? Or is it the temperature in your room, in your bed?

Me, the very first thing I always notice is the way my bed scratches at my chest. And how my blanket seems to always leave my shirtless self only for it to be found at the foot of my bed. And today was just like that except, after a moment or two I take in the lyrics to Shut Up by Blink still blasting through my phone from under my pillow. So I slid my hand under my pillow and tried to end my early sufferings. Only to fail. So I finally gave up and pulled my phone out only to be blinded by both the noise and light.  
"Seth turn that blasted thing off its like, 5 in the morning for christ's sake!"  
My sister seems amused by it all.  
I tried to focus on my phone screen for a while until random series of numbers seems to finally be visible enough for me to know that a stranger is calling me at 5 in the morning. I pondered for a while if I should answer it or not but eventually turned it off. After five more minutes of lying in the dark I finally got myself to get up and put on a shirt. Groaning and covered with nothing but a dark shirt and a blue pair of boxers, I made my way down to the kitchen and opened it. I must have stared for what seems like five minutes only to pull out a pack of bacon and four eggs. I know. A guy making breakfast half conscious is probably illegal somewhere but it's like routine for me now.   
After I've made breakfast and ate some for myself, I made a cup of coffee and just scrolled through my Twitter account. I was reading some tweet about another band going somewhere when my phone started buzzing again saying that its already six in the morning. So I gulped down the remaining lukewarm coffee and dropped the mug with my plate in the sink. As I made my way to my room again I bumped into my mom and she staggered a bit, clearly still half asleep.   
"Morning mom." I said, catching her and keeping her balance.  
"Good morning darling." She said, patting my shoulder as she passed me by.

Seeing my bedroom like this makes me wanna redecorate the whole damn place again. For the third time.  
At first my room was divided into three portions, clothes, bed, and work area. After that it slowly turned into a clothes and bed/work area. Because as a student, you're gonna wanna work in your bed, jut incase..  
But now. Now my room as a whole new level of 'mess'  
Clothes thrown around almost everywhere, the beds covers are almost off the bed, and papers and pencils and sketches on the floor and walls. Ok. Never mind. This mess is too messy to even deal with.  
So I went to my closet and pulled out my usual clothes nowadays. A black, graphic tank top, a dark hoodie, black skinny jeans, black boxer briefs and black socks. Don't judge me ok, my hoodie isn't even black.  
After showering for about twenty minutes I put on my clothes, minus the hoodie, and then came down again only to see my sister, still on her pajamas, munching down on her breakfast while reading something from her phone, and my mom fully dressed in her formal wear, finishing off her coffee. My mom works for some government office i don't really know about, so she always wear formal clothes, except of course for casual Wednesdays. She's wearing those pointed type hills, those skirts she called 'pencil skirt' that goes down to her knees, then her usual red and gray blouse.   
"I'm off to work hun, did you get your allowance?" My mom asked as she placed her mug in the sink  
"I'll just check in school, it's safer there anyways." I said as I sat down the table across Aly. My mom gives us our allowance through out bank accounts. She said it can help us be more matte with money. I'm really not that mature about money.  
"Mine hasn't yet." Aly said, not looking up from her phone. "I checked yesterday." She added.  
"Ok, well. I'll make sure get to it before I go to work." She said after she grabbed her keys. "Now. Babye my loves. And don't forget to lock up!" Then the door slammed.  
"Well. Bye." I stood up and went to my room again to grab my hoodie, bag, and black, worn out converse. Wait. I went back and grabbed the only ketch in my table from last nights 'late night drawing' then came down to fix up my things in the living room.  
"Not fair! I haven't even changed yet!" Aly screamed as I I was still inside my room.   
"Oh relax, just ask your boyfriend to give you a ride." I said as I tugged on my high cuts.   
To think that after two years of wearing these things that I'd actually struggle less with putting them on. "Ugh! You are so annoying. And just because you're the kind of boyfriend who picks up your boyfriend everyday doesn't mean mine does it too."   
Ugh, again with this.  
"I thought I have emphasized this enough for you..." I said standing up, putting on my hoodie and going for my bag.  
"If Nic was my boyfriend you'd never see me here ever again." But why don't we have a little fun here. "Because if we were together we would probably have mind blowing gay sex like, all the time." I grabbed my keys from the counter then headed out "You're disgusting!" She yelled as I opened the front door. so I yelled back a "Don't forget to lock the doors!" Then closed the door and got in my car and drive off.

//////

Nic, or Dominic, has been my bestfriend since we moved here. I was thirteen then and was looking around town when I saw a small park with a playground. A couple of seesaws, a swings set with three seats, a small tower like thing and a slide not even big enough for a ten year old. I headed straight for the end of the swing set, pulled out my phone, earphones, and my copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull. I've read this book for more than a hundred times now but I just couldn't help it. A seagull who wants to fly not be course he needs to, but because he wants to. He sacrificed everything he has and got through every boundary set in front of him. It's the best kind of inspirational book a thirteen year old could get his hands to, even if it's a fable.  
I was halfway through a Boys Like Girls album and three-quarters done with the book when something caught my attention. I don't know exactly how to put this on words but, someone on the other end of the swing set was trying to fly.  
His whole appearance was so far fetched, so unbelievable because he... How do I say this?   
Because he looked like he came out of a book.   
His jet black hair ruffling through the wind and eyes a brilliant shade of blue standing out even more with pure black glasses, skin so pale that I couldn't help but think of a vampire in the flesh. Wearing some worn out band shirt with its sleeves cut off, worn out blue ripped jeans that he pulls off rather nicely, and a pair of bulky Nike shoes. He saw me looking at him and flash a smile. Like he was actually just doing all this to get my attention. He then dropped both his feet so he can slow down and then stop.  
His smile unwavering as ever. I pulled out my earphones as he finally came to a stop. "Finally! I've been trying to get your attention for like, five minutes." A very chirpy voice chimed in. "You take that book way too seriously." He said as he pointed at my book with a smile.  
"Well, it takes me seriously so it's only fair I do the same"  
"Oh please. Jonathan Livingston is a Class A rebel who wants recognition not retribution." Well that a first.  
"Excuse me? The gull wanted to fly for the feeling it gives him, for the rush of it! He wasn't rebelling at all! He was just evolving."  
"Of course you'd say that. You look like the type of kid who'd read a fable and see inspiration."   
Well that hurt.  
"Wow. Ok stranger. Thanks for the opinionated insults but I only get into a debate about my personal views on a book every Thursday, and well. It's Friday." I said, standing up and dusting off my pants.  
"Well, I guess we'll have to see each other again now, won't we?"   
God damn that smile.  
"What?"  
"You're the new kid here right? The one with two sisters and a mom?."  
"First of all, I am both creeped out and impressed with that and second, yes, that's me."  
"Well." He stood up and went to move towards me and stopped a feet away. "You don't have friends here yet and we look like were at the same age? How old are you?"  
"I'm thirteen years young." I said, emphasizing the young a bit more than necessary.  
"Well I'm gonna be thirteen next week. You're invited by the way. I live three blocks down from you, the first house in the corner."  
"Are you serious right now?"  
"What?" It looked like it was the first time his friendliness has ever been questioned.  
"Let's see here. Uhm, you don't know me and I don't know you. I mean, you could possibly be inviting a mass murdering psychopath to your thirteenth birthday party, yknow." This didn't even faze him.  
"Cool. Then my party will totally be the talked about party of the year! Do you prefer an axe or chainsaw?" Is he serious right now.  
"You're wierd."   
"Thanks!" He said it with no sarcasm, whatsoever.   
Something's wrong with this kid.   
I like it.   
I just shook my head and returned that blinding smile he got with the best awkward one I have.  
"I'm Seth. Seth Morgans." I held out my right hand."  
"Dominic. Dominic Mcintosh." He took my hand, shock it twice, then he closed my hand and fist bumped himself.   
"Wanna show me around?"  
"Sure! Let's start with the creepy shes the park has! People say the old maintenance guy in the park used to lure kids there and steal theirlungs and livers and stuff!"  
Ok. I take that back.  
I love this kid.

//////

As I drove three blocks down I can already see Nic standing in from of their house. Black hair messed up as ever. Big pair of black glasses and blue eyes and pale skin standing out even more because of his all black outfit like mine only more of the ,flannel, Nike and ripped jeans instead of what I wear His skateboard, design by yourself truly as his 18 birthday gift, in his right hand and his phone on his left. I drove right in front of him and lowered the passenger side's window. "Uhm, excuse me. Do you know the nearest prostitute house in this area? I'm kinda lost."  
He pocketed his phone and leaned down the window, blue eyes shining brighter from the sun. "You're in luck. I'm the best in the house." Then he gave me the most disturbing wink I have ever seen. An open mouthed, side faced wink.  
"Dude! That's disgusting, even for you!"  
"Excuse me?" He opened the door and plopped down the passenger seat. "Are you telling me that you think there is a limitation in my ability to be disgusting?! I'm wounded."  
"Oh, shut up." Hitting his shoulder as we drove off. He then started talking about this TV show he saw last night, then he was talking about an anime, then he was rambling on about books I haven't read yet that he's wanted me to read since forever.  
"So, you finished TID yet?"he asked as he threw his bag and skateboard at the back   
"Nope. But Will Herondale is the biggest drama queen I have ever known or read about."  
"True. You gotta love Jem though. I mean silver hair and fragile state is like, so hot."  
"Do not spread your uncontrolled hormones into my car. My mom actually sits there."  
"Oh, do shut up will you."  
"Whatever." Then I remembered something. "Hey, remember that photo you sent?"  
"Yeah. Did you finish it? Already?!"  
"It's in the compartment"  
He opened up the compartment and a rolled up piece of parchment paper fell off. He unrolled it and squealed.   
"Dude! Volume!"  
"Dude! Amazing!" He said as he waved the drawing in front of my face.  
He sent in a photo of two guys holding hands while riding skateboards and since their backs are at the camera it wasn't that hard to draw at all.  
"Thanks." Now to look for a parking space inside school grounds."Now meet me after third period and at lunch." I said as I parked near the gym. "Yes sir!" I got out of the car and he does too.  
"Sir?" I said, grabbing my bag from the back seat. "That's awfully kinky of you."  
"Oh you do not wanna talk about kinks with me. I'm not sure your vanilla soul could take it."  
"Again with the vanilla thing!" I locked my car and headed for the entrance. "What do I hav to do to convince you that I'm not as Vanilla as you think I am?!"  
"Seth Morgans! Are you hinting that we have sex in order for you to prove that you have very weird sexual fantasies you want to fullfill!! This is preposterous!" He said out loud. AD of course the boring people I this town would look at us with disgust as if their looks could inject us with liquid shame.  
" Why are we friends again?"  
"Because you would die I a broken heart if we weren't."  
"Whatever. Remember! After third period and lunch!" I yelled and headed for my locker.  
"YES SIR!" Nic yelled back. And I didt have to look back to see that his saluting me right now.  
I have to reconsider my friends.  
Or should I say Friend.

\------

The bell ringing snapped me out of my daze state, only to be even more awake by Mr. Cortez yelling as the class hastily gathered their stuff and shuffled to the door. "Alright. Alright! Good day everybody! And don't forget tonight's readings, we're having a pop quiz tomorrow."  
I shouldered my bag and made my way to his table as he started fixing his satchel's contents.  
"Sir, is it still a pop quiz if you're announcing it the day before?"  
He looked at me sideways and grinned.  
"It is if we're having a pop quiz about today's readings instead of tonight's."  
"Sir you are one hell of a dude."  
"Thanks for the compliments Mr. Morgans. Now go on then. I need to lock up."  
"See you around Mr. C!"  
Then I ran off to my locker to leave all of my books because who does homework at Fridays right?  
"Yo Morgans!" Oh crap.  
I closed my locker and was greeted by two very familiar faces. One was a short girl with bright brown eyes and ginger hair naturally curling up to her arms. Wearing a cream colored cardigan over what appears to be a plain white tank top paired with a pinky skater skirt and the flashiest pair of converse I have ever seen. She was holding hands with a black haired guy with a pair of deep green eyes. Said guy towers over said girl. He was sporting a plain white shirt over a leather jacket paired with a black ripped skinny jeans and a pure black version of those Roshe Nike shoes that Nic always wears.  
"Josie, Nick number two." I smiled at them as they came closer.  
"Oh cmon! Why am I Nick number two?! He's much more annoying!"  
Josie seemed as entertained as me with this. "Don't worry babe." She said as she placed her free hand on his chest. "You'll always be number one to me."  
And the. Nick looked down on her and returned the sweet lovey-dovey look Josie had and kissed her in the mouth, which would be sweet if you for see it everyday.  
"Ugh, come one guys. That's just gross!" I covered my eyes and walked away.  
They paused their PDA session RJ follow me and walked with me out of school.   
"So where were you at lunch earlier? No one was sitting with us going all ugh just eat your food! Not each other's faces you uncultured children "  
Josie laughed as I rolled my eyes as dramatically as I could.  
"If you really wanna know, Nick number two, I was out of school grounds with Nic. Te original Nic. Why? Jealous?"  
"Ugh. No. You guys are so disgusting sometimes I'm surprised neither of you are pregnant with the others child. Ow!"   
"Nicholas! We're still in school!" Then Josie lectured Nick as we walked down to the parking lot and kept on mumbling small sorrys and then just pecked her lips gently. Making her smile and making me gag.  
"Ugh, I've had enough of you two for today. Bye josie! Nick Number two!"  
"Bye Seth!"

I went to the side of the entrance, near the gym, and saw Nic leaning against my car. So I did what I always do. I grabbed for my keys in my pocket and made my car erupt in loud noises. This seemed to startle him and apparently he was standing up on his skateboard because one minute he was all 'shocked faced' and panic and the next. He was out of sight and a groaning mess on the floor.  
I ran up to him while laughing my lungs out. He saw me coming and laughed too. We stayed there for five minutes, him laughing his ass off on the floor while I leaned in on my car for support as I barked out laughter.   
"I should've filmed that."  
I grabbed his hand and pulled him up " if you did, I'm gonna be famous as hell." And now we were laughing again as we both got inside the car.  
Our conversation then went to viral videos people covering songs to music videos then ended up in bands in general and who was better.  
" ok, I get that All Time Low is all that and all. I mean, Lost in stereo is my jam. But 5SOS is better lyric wise in being punk rock."  
"I think you hit your head too hard on the gravel back there because you are delusional. All Time Low are classic punk rock! This 5SOS of yours might be new and all but ATL beats them by a longshot."  
"You are in denial!"  
"And you are in my car! So let's just agree to disagree before I lose any restraints I have and dump your ass out in some dumpster somewhere."  
"Ugh fine. Let's just listen to BLG"  
"Too late. We're here."  
I pulled up to out drive way and parked and unlocked the car.  
"Damn it."  
"Cmon. I'm making French toast and we still have some left over pasta inside." That got him out of the car.  
"You know me so well. Promise to marry me if were both still single by out forty's" he said as I was unlocking the front door.  
"I thought we'd get married by our thirty's?" I looked back to him and smiled.  
"Either way. You have to fill me up with French toasts till I die. I swear to god I even like yours better than a real French toast." We both got in as I prepared everything I needed as he went on and on about some French restaurant that served soggy and gross French toast as I listened and gave small yeahs and reallys to let him know that I am still listenin.   
After that we went to my room and he flopped down the bed and ate his with no manners whatsoever and stared at my drawings pinned to the walls.  
"You're amazing at drawing things yknow."  
"Thanks Nic, but you've been saying that for a year now. It's not really a compliment anymore."  
He dropped his plate on my table and took off one of my drawings of him when he was reading last week.  
"Well, I'm gonna keep saying it cause it's true. I wish I had a talent like that."  
That made me laugh. Because Nic, swimmer Nic, composer Nic, Dancing Nic. Thinks he has no talent. "Yeah ok."  
"Nevermind. Hey did you hear about 5SOS' new movie?" He asked as he flopped back down the bed facing the ceiling.  
"I thought they were a band?"  
He let out an irritated sigh and explained how their movie was about how they became a band and everything. Then another argument started about if they are even a band.  
That was until my mom busrt in the doors and smiled slightly.   
"Well if it isn't my favorite son and my other son."  
"Mrs. Morgans! You shouldn't call me your favorite son in front of seth. He'll take it personally."  
"Very funny nic. Now off you go. Your real mom just called and said you have to go to some family dinner."  
Nic then grumbled exaggeratedly and slouched off of bed.  
"See you tomorrow dude."  
Seth then greeted mom out and mom just looked back and said something about cleaning up my room.

Yeah right.  
I locked my door and pulled out my speakers from a drawer and plugged it on. I shuffled through my phone and played 5SOS' new album since Nic seems too invested in them, and as much as i hates to admit it. Nic has great taste in music.  
Their lyrics were ok. But after hearing Invisible and Broken Home, he actually liked them.  
I then added some songs to his playlist then started it off with He Is We's Kiss It All Better. A few minutes later I heard my phone beep only. to see Nic has already sent another batch of photos he wanted me to draw.  
This guy.  
As I was scrolling through them all I noticed he sent a photo of two guys in skateboards again only the guy on the right was caught midway through falling. This one had a caption of this reminded me of us   
I can see it.  
So I started drawing some while half lying on my bed and folded my knees so I can use my thighs I draw on.

I few songs passed and eventually I dozed off.

\-----

Even with music blasting through my speakers, I couldn't help but notice a few yelling outside my door. Ok maybe not jus a few.  
Waking up with yelled out obscenities trough my door is ngprobably one of those things that is like routine for me now.   
My mom was telling Aly how she always goes home late and never check in if she was going home late. Aly then yelled back how she's grown up now and how mom shouldn't worry.  
Typical mother-daughter fights.  
But what's not so typical is that it's already 2 in the morning.  
After a few more minutes of yelling and one slammed door later, I got up and turned off my music and walked out of my room and headed straight to the kitchen.   
What I saw was something like a picture, the image is so familiar and yet so distant.

All the lights were off. Mom has her back and hips against the counter, she was wearing a pink fluffy rode overher pajamas, her right arm folded under her chest and her left hand covering her face. She was standing in front of the window so the light from the street lamp in front of our house mixed with a little bit of moonlight seemed to make her at least five years younger and five times more stressed. She stays like that for what seems like a small infinity until I finally croaked out a small "Mom?"  
She then flinched as if she had just woken up from a bad dream. "Hey hunny." She turned away even more. Turning her back to me to hide the stat she was in. "Sorry. Did we wake you again?"  
She frantically wiped her face and then turned around to face me when she thought she's got her face sorted out.

"Yeah. You ok?" 

She seemed reluctant to answer , as if I had just asked her if she at. e the last cookie in the cookie jar, or if she killed someone. She then hugged herself and I swear I could almost see her tough exterior crumble bit by bit.  
She then moved her right hand to her hips and her left hand to the counter as if she needed physical support to answer. She croaked out a "No" as her left hand covered her mouth, as if afraid to let all of it out. Afraid to show me, her son, that even she broke down occaionally.  
So I did what I usually do at these kinds of situations. I opened up my arms and it seemed like it was all the invitation my moon needed to breakdown in my arms. She kept on mumbling small sorry's as she hugged my tighter and tighter.  
And I didn't know what to do. Or what to say. She never really broke down like this before. She usually just reassures me that she's fine then she goes straight to her bedroom.   
Now, as my mom falls to pieces in front of me and as I rubbed her back gently with both of us standing in the middle of our kitchen, I couldn't think of anything that could make her feel better. So I did what I thought would help her. I did what I thought would help us both.   
I lied. I lied and said "it's ok mom, it's ok. We're ok."


End file.
